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The Pickwick Papers 378







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bar closet. She used to keep bank-notes there, fore she vos married, Samivel. Ive seen her take the lid off, to pay a bill, many and many a time. Poor creetur, she might ha filled all the tea-pots in the house vith vills, and not have inconwenienced herself neither, for she took wery little of anythin in that vay lately, cept on the temperance nights, ven they just laid a foundation o tea to put the spirits atop on! What does it say? inquired Sam. Jist vot I told you, my boy, rejoined his parent. Two hundred pound vurth o reduced counsels to my son-in-law, Samivel, and all the rest o my property, of evry kind and description votsoever, to my husband, Mr. Tony Veller, who I appint as my sole eggzekiter. Thats all, is it? said Sam. Thats all, replied Mr. Weller. And I spose as its all right and satisfactory to you and me as is the only parties interested, ve may as vell put this bit o paper into the fire. Wot are you a-doin on, you lunatic? said Sam, snatching the paper away, as his parent, in all innocence, stirred the fire preparatory to suiting the action to the word. Youre a nice eggzekiter, you are. Vy not? inquired Mr. Weller, looking sternly round, with the poker in his hand. Vy not? exclaimed Sam. Cos it must be proved, and probated, and swore to, and all manner o formalities. You dont mean that? said Mr. Weller, laying down the poker. Sam buttoned the will carefully in a side pocket; intimating by a look, meanwhile, that he did mean it, and very seriously too. Then Ill tell you wot it is, said Mr. Weller, after a short meditation, this is a case for that ere confidential pal o the Chancellorships. Pell must look into this, Sammy. Hes the man for a difficult question at law. Vell have this here brought afore the Solvent Court, directly, Samivel. I never did see such a addle-headed old creetur! exclaimed Sam irritably; Old Baileys, and Solvent Courts, and alleybis, and evry species o gammon alvays a-runnin through his brain. Youd better get your out o door clothes on, and come to town about this bisness, than stand a-preachin there about wot you dont understand nothin on. Wery good, Sammy, replied Mr. Weller, Im quite agreeable to anythin as vill hexpedite business, Sammy. But mind this here, my boy, nobody but Pell--nobody but Pell as a legal adwiser. I dont want anybody else, replied Sam. Now, are you a-comin? Vait a minit, Sammy, replied Mr. Weller, who, having tied his shawl with the aid of a small glass that hung in the window, was now, by dint of the most wonderful exertions, struggling into his upper garments. Vait a minit Sammy; ven you grow as old as your father, you vont get into your veskit quite as easy as you do now, my boy. If I couldnt get into it easier than that, Im blessed if Id vear vun at all, rejoined his son. You think so now, said Mr. Weller, with the gravity of age, but youll find that as you get vider, youll get viser. Vidth and visdom, Sammy, alvays grows together. As Mr. Weller delivered this infallible maxim--the result of many years personal experience and observation--he contrived, by a dexterous twist of his body, to get the bottom button of his coat to perform its office. Having paused a few seconds to recover breath, he brushed his hat with his elbow, and declared himself ready. As four heads is better than two, Sammy, said Mr. Weller, as they drove along the London Road in the chaise-cart, and as all this here property is a wery great temptation to a legal genlmn, vell take a couple o friends o mine vith us, asll be wery soon down upon him if he comes anythin irreglar; two o them as saw you to the Fleet that day. Theyre the wery best judges, added Mr. Weller, in a half-whisper--the wery best judges of a horse, you ever knowd. And of a lawyer too? inquired Sam. The man as can form a ackerate judgment of a animal, can form a ackerate judgment of anythin, replied his father, so dogmatically, that Sam did not attempt to controvert the position. In pursuance of this notable resolution, the services of the mottled-faced gentleman and of two other very fat coachmen --selected by Mr. Weller, probably, with a view to their width and consequent wisdom--were put into requisition;

The Pickwick Papers page 377        The Pickwick Papers page 379