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hand, and you have
both assumed a tone of forgiveness and high-mindedness, which
is an extent of impudence that I was not prepared for, even in you.
What, sir! exclaimed Dodson.
What, sir! reiterated Fogg.
Do you know that I have been the victim of your plots and
conspiracies? continued Mr. Pickwick. Do you know that I
am the man whom you have been imprisoning and robbing?
Do you know that you were the attorneys for the plaintiff, in
Bardell and Pickwick?
Yes, sir, we do know it, replied Dodson.
Of course we know it, Sir, rejoined Fogg, slapping his pocket
--perhaps by accident.
I see that you recollect it with satisfaction, said Mr. Pickwick,
attempting to call up a sneer for the first time in his life, and
failing most signally in so doing. Although I have long been
anxious to tell you, in plain terms, what my opinion of you is, I
should have let even this opportunity pass, in deference to my
friend Perkers wishes, but for the unwarrantable tone you have
assumed, and your insolent familiarity. I say insolent familiarity,
sir, said Mr. Pickwick, turning upon Fogg with a fierceness of
gesture which caused that person to retreat towards the door with
great expedition.
Take care, Sir, said Dodson, who, though he was the biggest
man of the party, had prudently entrenched himself behind
Fogg, and was speaking over his head with a very pale face. Let
him assault you, Mr. Fogg; dont return it on any account.
No, no, I wont return it, said Fogg, falling back a little
more as he spoke; to the evident relief of his partner, who by
these means was gradually getting into the outer office.
You are, continued Mr. Pickwick, resuming the thread of his
discourse--you are a well-matched pair of mean, rascally,
pettifogging robbers.
Well, interposed Perker, is that all?
It is all summed up in that, rejoined Mr. Pickwick; they are
mean, rascally, pettifogging robbers.
There! said Perker, in a most conciliatory tone. My dear sirs,
he has said all he has to say. Now pray go. Lowten, is that door
open?
Mr. Lowten, with a distant giggle, replied in the affirmative.
There, there--good-morning--good-morning--now pray, my
dear sirs--Mr. Lowten, the door! cried the little man, pushing
Dodson & Fogg, nothing loath, out of the office; this way, my
dear sirs--now pray dont prolong this-- Dear me--Mr.
Lowten--the door, sir--why dont you attend?
If theres law in England, sir, said Dodson, looking towards
Mr. Pickwick, as he put on his hat, you shall smart for this.
You are a couple of mean--
Remember, sir, you pay dearly for this, said Fogg.
--Rascally, pettifogging robbers! continued Mr. Pickwick,
taking not the least notice of the threats that were addressed to him.
Robbers! cried Mr. Pickwick, running to the stair-head, as
the two attorneys descended.
Robbers! shouted Mr. Pickwick, breaking from Lowten and
Perker, and thrusting his head out of the staircase window.
When Mr. Pickwick drew in his head again, his countenance
was smiling and placid; and, walking quietly back into the office,
he declared that he had now removed a great weight from his
mind, and that he felt perfectly comfortable and happy.
Perker said nothing at all until he had emptied his snuff-box,
and sent Lowten out to fill it, when he was seized with a fit of
laughing, which lasted five minutes; at the expiration of which
time he said that he supposed he ought to be very angry, but he
couldnt think of the business seriously yet--when he could, he
would be.
Well, now, said Mr. Pickwick, let me have a settlement with you.
Of the same kind as the last? inquired Perker, with another laugh.
Not exactly, rejoined Mr. Pickwick, drawing out his pocket-
book, and shaking the little man heartily by the hand, I only
mean a pecuniary settlement. You have done me many acts of
kindness that I can never repay, and have no wish to repay, for
I prefer continuing the obligation.
With this preface, the two friends dived into some very complicated
accounts and vouchers, which, having been duly displayed and
gone through by Perker, were at once discharged by Mr. Pickwick
with many professions of esteem and friendship.
They had no sooner arrived at this point, than a most violent
and startling knocking was heard at the door; it was not an
ordinary double-knock, but a constant and uninterrupted
succession of the loudest single raps, as if the knocker were
endowed with the perpetual motion, or the person outside had
forgotten to leave off.
Dear me, whats that? exclaimed Perker, starting.
I think it The Pickwick Papers page 368 The Pickwick Papers page 370 |