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The Pickwick Papers 236







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that Mrs. Bardell was at that time keeping company with the baker, but did know that the baker was then a single man and is now married. Couldnt swear that Mrs. Bardell was not very fond of the baker, but should think that the baker was not very fond of Mrs. Bardell, or he wouldnt have married somebody else. Thought Mrs. Bardell fainted away on the morning in July, because Pickwick asked her to name the day: knew that she (witness) fainted away stone dead when Mr. Sanders asked her to name the day, and believed that everybody as called herself a lady would do the same, under similar circumstances. Heard Pickwick ask the boy the question about the marbles, but upon her oath did not know the difference between an alley tor and a commoney. By the COURT.--During the period of her keeping company with Mr. Sanders, had received love letters, like other ladies. In the course of their correspondence Mr. Sanders had often called her a duck, but never chops, nor yet tomato sauce. He was particularly fond of ducks. Perhaps if he had been as fond of chops and tomato sauce, he might have called her that, as a term of affection. Serjeant Buzfuz now rose with more importance than he had yet exhibited, if that were possible, and vociferated; Call Samuel Weller. It was quite unnecessary to call Samuel Weller; for Samuel Weller stepped briskly into the box the instant his name was pronounced; and placing his hat on the floor, and his arms on the rail, took a birds-eye view of the Bar, and a comprehensive survey of the Bench, with a remarkably cheerful and lively aspect. Whats your name, sir? inquired the judge. Sam Weller, my Lord, replied that gentleman. Do you spell it with a "V" or a "W"? inquired the judge. That depends upon the taste and fancy of the speller, my Lord, replied Sam; I never had occasion to spell it more than once or twice in my life, but I spells it with a "V." Here a voice in the gallery exclaimed aloud, Quite right too, Samivel, quite right. Put it down a "we," my Lord, put it down a "we." Who is that, who dares address the court? said the little judge, looking up. Usher. Yes, my Lord. Bring that person here instantly. Yes, my Lord. But as the usher didnt find the person, he didnt bring him; and, after a great commotion, all the people who had got up to look for the culprit, sat down again. The little judge turned to the witness as soon as his indignation would allow him to speak, and said-- Do you know who that was, sir? I rayther suspect it was my father, my lord, replied Sam. Do you see him here now? said the judge. No, I dont, my Lord, replied Sam, staring right up into the lantern at the roof of the court. If you could have pointed him out, I would have committed him instantly, said the judge. Sam bowed his acknowledgments and turned, with unimpaired cheerfulness of countenance, towards Serjeant Buzfuz. Now, Mr. Weller, said Serjeant Buzfuz. Now, sir, replied Sam. I believe you are in the service of Mr. Pickwick, the defendant in this case? Speak up, if you please, Mr. Weller. I mean to speak up, Sir, replied Sam; I am in the service o that ere genlman, and a wery good service it is. Little to do, and plenty to get, I suppose? said Serjeant Buzfuz, with jocularity. Oh, quite enough to get, Sir, as the soldier said ven they ordered him three hundred and fifty lashes, replied Sam. You must not tell us what the soldier, or any other man, said, Sir, interposed the judge; its not evidence. Wery good, my Lord, replied Sam. Do you recollect anything particular happening on the morning when you were first engaged by the defendant; eh, Mr. Weller? said Serjeant Buzfuz. Yes, I do, sir, replied Sam. Have the goodness to tell the jury what it was. I had a reglar new fit out o clothes that mornin, genlmen of the jury, said Sam, and that was a wery partickler and uncommon circumstance vith me in those days. Hereupon there was a general laugh; and the little judge, looking with an angry countenance over his desk, said, You had better be careful, Sir. So Mr. Pickwick said at the time, my Lord, replied Sam; and I was wery careful o that ere suit o clothes; wery careful indeed, my Lord. The judge looked sternly at Sam for full two minutes,

The Pickwick Papers page 235        The Pickwick Papers page 237