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The Pickwick Papers 170







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Martin Eden

The Pickwick Papers

The Sea Wolf




em. The gals manners is dreadful vulgar; and the boy breathes so very hard while hes eating, that we found it impossible to sit at table with him. Young grampus! said Mr. Weller. Oh, dreadful, rejoined Mr. Muzzle; but that is the worst of country service, Mr. Weller; the juniors is always so very savage. This way, sir, if you please, this way. Preceding Mr. Weller, with the utmost politeness, Mr. Muzzle conducted him into the kitchen. Mary, said Mr. Muzzle to the pretty servant-girl, this is Mr. Weller; a gentleman as master has sent down, to be made as comfortable as possible. And your masters a knowin hand, and has just sent me to the right place, said Mr. Weller, with a glance of admiration at Mary. If I wos master o this here house, I should alvays find the materials for comfort vere Mary wos. Lor, Mr. Weller! said Mary blushing. Well, I never! ejaculated the cook. Bless me, cook, I forgot you, said Mr. Muzzle. Mr. Weller, let me introduce you. How are you, maam? said Mr. Weller.Wery glad to see you, indeed, and hope our acquaintance may be a long un, as the genlmn said to the fi pun note. When this ceremony of introduction had been gone through, the cook and Mary retired into the back kitchen to titter, for ten minutes; then returning, all giggles and blushes, they sat down to dinner. Mr. Wellers easy manners and conversational powers had such irresistible influence with his new friends, that before the dinner was half over, they were on a footing of perfect intimacy, and in possession of a full account of the delinquency of Job Trotter. I never could a-bear that Job, said Mary. No more you never ought to, my dear, replied Mr. Weller. Why not? inquired Mary. Cos ugliness and svindlin never ought to be formiliar with elegance and wirtew, replied Mr. Weller. Ought they, Mr. Muzzle? Not by no means, replied that gentleman. Here Mary laughed, and said the cook had made her; and the cook laughed, and said she hadnt. I hant got a glass, said Mary. Drink with me, my dear, said Mr. Weller. Put your lips to this here tumbler, and then I can kiss you by deputy. For shame, Mr. Weller! said Mary. Whats a shame, my dear? Talkin in that way. Nonsense; it aint no harm. Its natur; aint it, cook? Dont ask me, imperence, replied the cook, in a high state of delight; and hereupon the cook and Mary laughed again, till what between the beer, and the cold meat, and the laughter combined, the latter young lady was brought to the verge of choking--an alarming crisis from which she was only recovered by sundry pats on the back, and other necessary attentions, most delicately administered by Mr. Samuel Weller. In the midst of all this jollity and conviviality, a loud ring was heard at the garden gate, to which the young gentleman who took his meals in the wash-house, immediately responded. Mr. Weller was in the height of his attentions to the pretty house- maid; Mr. Muzzle was busy doing the honours of the table; and the cook had just paused to laugh, in the very act of raising a huge morsel to her lips; when the kitchen door opened, and in walked Mr. Job Trotter. We have said in walked Mr. Job Trotter, but the statement is not distinguished by our usual scrupulous adherence to fact. The door opened and Mr. Trotter appeared. He would have walked in, and was in the very act of doing so, indeed, when catching sight of Mr. Weller, he involuntarily shrank back a pace or two, and stood gazing on the unexpected scene before him, perfectly motionless with amazement and terror. Here he is! said Sam, rising with great glee. Why we were that wery moment a-speaking o you. How are you? Where have you been? Come in. Laying his hand on the mulberry collar of the unresisting Job, Mr. Weller dragged him into the kitchen; and, locking the door, handed the key to Mr. Muzzle, who very coolly buttoned it up in a side pocket. Well, heres a game! cried Sam. Only think o my master havin the pleasure o meeting yourn upstairs, and me havin the joy o meetin you down here. How are you gettin on, and how is the chandlery bisness likely to do? Well, I am so glad to see you. How happy you look. Its quite a treat to see you; aint it, Mr. Muzzle? Quite,

The Pickwick Papers page 169        The Pickwick Papers page 171